Yesterday, I spoke to a gentleman — a very caring, tender person. For his entire life, he was overweight and addicted to food. For years, he didn’t love himself. And life was truly hard on him, partially for those reasons. He also struggled with divorce, depression, binging, diabetes, and addiction. He recounted thinking that he didn’t care if he lived or not when he was stuffing himself with food.
About 2 years ago, he decided to change his life. He started Nutrisystem and ordered their food for almost two years without cheating. He knew there was no way it was sustainable, but he did it anyway. He wanted to lose weight so desperately.
He lost 80 pounds over 2 years which made him come down below an obesity BMI of 3, but then he hit a plateau. So he shifted to a strict regimen where he watched calories religiously and exercised 2 hours every day.
It was a lot of meticulous planning to weigh everything he ate, and there was a strict list of so-called food taboos that he wouldn’t eat.
He had to exercise heavily every day to justify every meal. And every week, he experienced impulses of compulsive binging. As a result, he used willpower at full throttle to stop binging.
Regardless, deep fears surfaced, and he was worried that as soon as he started living normally and had a bit of a social life, he’d regain all the lost weight, and binging would come back. It had happened every single time he’d dieted in the past 35 years. And unfortunately, he usually regained the weight with additional pounds.
I asked him, “What would it mean to your life if it happens again?”
“My life will slip back to where it used to be,” he answered.
I was saddened. All it took to ruin this man’s life was the wrong numbers on the scale. And it was only a matter of time before the diet bubble would burst, just as he had experienced for the past 35 years.
Then I asked him if he’d be open to exploring living more normally.
“I’ll focus on losing weight first then start living a normal life. The diet is generating results, and I’m afraid if I stop it, I’ll be fat again,” he said.
Sustainable Weight Loss
Well, the truth is — that’s not really so. My clients with food obsession issues were able to get rid of it and live a happier life where they eat whatever they want without negative feelings. Additionally, they did not regain weight.
Instead, now their body is rebalanced and healed, and their weight retaining and attracting patterns are reversed. As a result, they lose weight consistently. And it’s sustainable with no dieting where maintenance efforts are needed.
Listen: the idea that “I’ll focus on losing weight first then start living a normal life” will generate very painful failures for you 100 times out of 100.
This is because if you are losing weight through a highly restrictive diet, it won’t last forever. Thinking about regaining all you’ve lost will lead you emotionally and mentally into a dark place. What’s the point?
Here’s a piece of insight you need to realize. The harder you diet, the more your body’s natural equilibrium is distorted and those instincts to maintain weight and eat intuitively — which you also have — become inactivated.
Your body will either backfire or break down after the distortion. And food obsession, without being dealt with, will always be the trigger for another binge.
And you have to understand this:
The fundamental difference between you and the person who’s able to live life without dieting isn’t the calories or the scale number. It’s how you live, what you are focused on, and the patterns within your mind and body. They determine if you are psychologically and physically primed to keep fit or gain weight.
The difference is like developing the ability to create wealth vs. trying to get quick money through casinos. You don’t see anyone addicted to casinos winning after some beginner’s luck. You also don’t see anyone truly lose weight and keep it off after a series of dieting.
So, are you on your way to being stronger, healthier, and more confident? Or are you becoming even more fearful, obsessed, and desperate?
In the end, I ended the call with this man without extending an offer because he’s still too deeply blinded by the old belief that dieting is the only way to lose weight.
Why? Because again it’s a pattern. This belief pattern determines the psychological patterns and the physical patterns to be experienced.
Even though I’m happy to help him, believing in dieting means he won’t be committed to anything else at this moment.
I’m writing this story down this morning because of the essential message it carries.
And let me reiterate this:
I didn’t let this man go because he’s obsessed with food — that’s the simple problem I solve. Instead, I let him go because he’s obsessed with dieting and wouldn’t consider other options.
I don’t teach people to diet because it creates a life where you lose all your important focus and waste your precious time just to be imprisoned and disappointed.
And most importantly, I know how to help somebody lose 50 pounds in 12 months by living the life he wants today — not after he thinks he has lost the weight through dieting and built the whole house on quicksand.
If that’s what you want, and if your goal is to live a happier life without the food obsession, we can talk.